I'll Stand By You...and I'm not pretending

This is one of my favorite songs, I've always loved hearing Chrissie Hynde sing these words.  I've felt a connection to them, and today I figured it out.  Below are the lyrics and my sappy commentary.

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

This is me singing to me, luckily through Ms. Hynde.  I can get pitch right, but not much else.  ;)  I've been sick for years.  I've been in the dark about what I needed  to do to harness my health and ride into the light.  I've shed tears and even gotten to the point where it did no good to cry anymore.  I've been so sad and anxious I've needed drugs to feel "normal".

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

I will be my own support, but I am willing to ask for help too.

So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong

I'm so angry sometimes that at age 38 I have the reality that if I don't change, I will become disabled and I will feel like crap all the time.  Why did this happen to me?  Why do I have these multiple illnesses that no one can see?  Why do I have to suffer?  I know, there are such worse things to have, but this is my reality.  This is what I've felt and endured for years straight now.

I'm at my crossroads.  Scratch that, I was and I am now on the path to the right, to wellness.  I am not alone, I have help.  I saw which path I must take, and I took it.

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

This blog is helping me walk to the light.  My health coach J is helping me traverse this sometimes scary but rewarding path.  My bestie is there for me, cheering me on and nudging me when I admit weakness.  My coworker M.A. is a great sounding board and constant positive influence.  the ladies in a closed Facebook group are there for me, helping to encourage me.

And the chorus repeats, as does this journey.  It is a daily struggle and journey, sometimes momentary.  I am doctor ordered to do this 365 days.  My guess is, I will continue on.  I told M.A yesterday that if I get sick again, it is my own damn fault.  I have no one to blame if I fall back into my old ways, I am lucky that I have a disease that I can treat so easily.  She told me she would happily remind me of that too!  Thank you M.A.!

This song was once one of my favorites.  It has now been placed into my personal anthem column.  As this journey progresses, I will find a more upbeat anthem, but a girl can have more than one.  Right?

Lyrics to I'll Stand by You, The Pretenders

Keep workin' your plan, you got this!