Friday, February 13, 2015

Don't give up!

This is my new mantra, thanks to Mr. Churchill. I broke out my scale for the January weigh-in, and should have just put it right back. I've been weighing myself every few days and I am up from the 1/31 weigh-in. It has me so frustrated. I have to remember that weight loss is only 1 piece of the puzzle.

Puzzles...I love puzzles.  We have the Lunchtime Linkers here at work, a group of 4-6 that do puzzles on our breaks.  We have done upwards of 30 puzzles in the last year.  We glue and hang a few, others we pass on to be enjoyed elsewhere, and a few that were mine made it home and are hanging in my home.

Wait...what was I talking about? Oh that's right, weight being one piece of the puzzle.  I did digress, but let me do so again.  The first puzzle we did was a Downton Abbey cast image, and one piece was lost.  The piece was in the sky and that was a really challenging section. I was already frustrated at this point, this was my first real puzzle and I was quickly learning to appreciate I was not born with an innate ability to complete puzzles quickly and easily. We contacted the maker and they sent us the piece, along with 999 more. We searched for that one piece, found it out of 1000 and went to put it in the puzzle. The piece didn't fit. Talk about mad!!!!!!!! Luckily, one of the Linkers took it home and completed it for us, the cut and dye was different between the two. That puzzle proudly hangs in my dining room and I remember how we all persevered and never gave up on that one, and how with the help of others I accomplished something I wasn't sure I could do.

January was a fun month, full of challenges and lots of learning about the Paleo diet. I was active with a group of ladies on an online Facebook community, with daily posts and encouragement. Many of us are still doing Paleo, but the Whole30 element isn't there anymore. One of the things you learn in the Whole30 is not to weigh yourself, for this journey is about so much more than weight loss. I need to lose between 85-103 pounds, depending on where I end up happiest with my body. 103 will get me back to my former weight when I was a Weight Watchers leader. 85 will get me into the top of my range according to my height. Needless to say, I want that number to go down, not up. I examined my diet last weekend when I saw a 2 pound gain. I realized I had been eating a Lara Bar a day, and some nuts. I cut back on both of those. I had been drinking a buttered coffee a day, most days. I have only had 2 this week. I wasn't eating as many vegetables, I have had more each and every day today, sometimes 2 or more salads a day. I knew there were things I could change.

I weighed this morning and I am up even more. I began to question if I wasn't eating enough, if my body was going into starvation mode. I am beginning to obsess, if you haven't figured this out already.

My scale is going in my hall closet tonight. I do not want it tempting me, calling my name. The key things I need to remember are:

My inches are going down, so I am losing fat
My A1C is 6.5, almost in pre-diabetes range!!!!!
My clothes are getting looser
My healthy eating habits are rooted and natural now
My cravings are non-existent for foods that are not healthy
My doctor told me I look happy and my skin is clearing up
I am standing so much taller that I am now hitting my head on signage in the grocery store

...All good things. Weight is just the relationship you hold to gravity at that moment in time, the key for me, and anyone really, is to build a healthy lifestyle that is attainable and sustainable. That is what I am doing and what I vow to focus on. I will allow myself to weigh in the last of every month, no more. I pledge this to you all now!

Go find your puzzle pieces, put your puzzle together! And remember, Never never never give up!

Keep workin' your plan, you're worth it!


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